Not all family home movies have the makings of a heartwarming yet sidesplitting film — an award-winning one at that. But then not all home films are helmed by the sibling duo of Ravi and Geeta Patel; he’s a comedian, actor and entrepreneur while she’s a writer, director and cinematographer with one documentary, Project Kashmir, already under her belt.
Meet the Patels, the first cinematic collaboration between the two, turns the lens on their own family and their Indian heritage — namely, the culture of arranged marriages. And for this first-generation Indian-American duo, its personal. Their parents want Ravi to marry someone Indian, a Patel in fact. It’s a custom: Patels marry Patels. And so the movie — mostly filmed by Geeta with a handheld camera, with the occasional animated bit — follows Ravi as he embarks on date after date after date, with his mother as matchmaker (as well as the Patel community at large). There are dating resumes, conventions, a redheaded non-Desi ex-girlfriend who was kept hidden from the family…
Here, we talk to the brother and sister about the project, which has been heating up the film festival circuit, and that other Patel duo who stole the show: Champa and Vasant, a.k.a mom and dad.
Yes, Patels marry other Patels…
Geeta Patel: From the outside, that sounds insane. The film looks at that culture, the fact that Patels only marry Patels and the process of how they do so…
Ravi Patel: Our parents had an arranged marriage and they married someone with the same last name as them. It’s a system of marriage that allows them to marry within the culture — not only within the same kind of culture but the same kind of cultural values. In the Western world today, there’s a loosely connected Patel network. Back in the day you would just go a couple of villages over. Now, mom might call an uncle and that uncle calls 10 of his friends… Next thing you know, mom and dad are receiving 30 matrimonial resumes of other kids named Patel, who are also of marriage age.
A Patel Convention is…
RP: Bio-dating is that loose network of calling people and getting resume submissions — now imagine the convention version of it. Parents send all unmarried Patel kids to one hotel — in this case, it was in Baltimore. It’s basically a weekend of speed-dating Patels.
The origins of Meet the Patels…
RP: Geeta and I were on a trip in India, and had these interesting conversations because of what I was going through — this pressure to get married while hiding [my then-girlfriend Audrey, who’s not Indian]. Gheeta had bought a video camera to learn how to operate one, and was filming our family vacation. When we came back, we saw something in the footage. I thought, Oh, this could be a cool Morgan Spurlock- or Michael Moore-like journalistic adventure.
GP: I’m behind the camera the whole time, so when Ravi isn’t narrating, he’s just bantering with me, like you do when you’re on a road trip with your sibling. There’s this family intimacy. It brings an extra layer. And Ravi being the natural comedian he is, the funny banter is up a few levels. So we thought, OK, forget the journalistic way — let’s just keep going with this crazy nontraditional format.
At its core, the film is really about…
RP: Love and family.
GP: The film changed our relationship. It made us a stronger family. The relationship we have, because of this film, is the greatest gift in the world.
Favorite scene…
GP: Ravi goes on a date through our parents’ matchmaking and I’ve filmed it. Afterwards, I ask him how he felt about the date and he’s telling me — but then realizes I was there, and asks me how I felt about it!
RP: The one where we’re at a wedding and mom and dad want to set me up with a girl. They’re giving me this pep talk and my dad kind of backhand slaps me on my chest, like he’s the coach of a football team amd this is Friday Night Lights. He’s like, “C’mon! You’re my son!” and telling me how to talk to girls. That was, for me, the funniest moment.
Our mom, the matchmaker…
RP: It’s not her job title per se, but she’s definitely responsible for setting up a number of successful couples. I’m sure she would take it as a job because the whole family is capitalistic. She’s one of those people who, when she meets you for the first time, will get into your deepest sh** and will find a way to go deeper, make you feel uncomfortable and also help you at the same time. And, obviously, relationships are at the core of that. She’s like an agent to the world. She’s a connector and she’s really good at it, honestly.
And our dad…
RP: Our dad, in those departments, is like our mom’s sidekick. They’re a great team because they have very different personalities but are complementary. He’s the more relaxed of the two, the guru of the family. Imagine mom on the phone in the kitchen doing deals and dad is at the table, sipping chai and calmly giving my mom life advice. It’s basically just one big enterprise of unsolicited advice.
And our parents now…
RP: They are celebrities when they go to these film festivals. They’re still the same people, but they’re starting to catch on to things like free food, craft services, gifting suites… They basically could care less about the attention and care more about the free stuff.
Our dating recommendations…
RP: Don’t bring your sister along to film it.
GP: Find somebody who’s interested in the journey of having a relationship, who is willing to take the pain — you know, no pain, no gain.
RP: The best thing I ever heard was that there are three pillars of a successful relationship: commitment, compatibility and chemistry. In the Western culture we tend to put too much emphasis on chemistry, but if you keep an eye on all three of those pillars, you have a greater opportunity for a successful relationship.
What’s next…
RP: Geeta and I are writing and directing some projects together. I’m on the new FOX show, with John Stamos, Grandfathered. And I also have the granola company I co-founded, called This Bar Saves Lives.
GP: I have an action-drama film, Mouse, that I wrote and will be directing. I also just did some directing for the Wachowskis’ new Netflix show, Sense8. Watching those siblings work together and seeing how much fun they have together… it actually has a lot to do with my wanting to work with Ravi again. Ravi and I fight all the time and it can be really hard, but the camaraderie and the beautiful moments of working with someone you really care about is priceless.